Mad at God

Detailed Answer:

What Kind of God are we Talking About

What is the primary question most of us come to God with when we experience something awful? This is universal, we ask “Why?” But this is really a secondary question, not the first question that needs to be asked. We first have to ask ourselves, “What kind of God am I dealing with?” 

Because the answer to this primary question will either answer your secondary question, or give you the background you need to be okay, even if you never get an answer to your secondary question. 

• If there is no God, then the answer is, “Because natural cause and effect occurred, and you just happened to have this thing happen to you.”
• If the God of Hinduism or Nee Age exists, then pain is simply an illusion.
• If a God exists with changeable moods and purposes, then it is a fair question to ask, possibly at your peril, and the answer could vary.
• If the biblical God exists, then this God has a purpose for allowing human and naturally caused pain and evil to occur, for a limited time, to allow free will and the opportunity for us to learn whether we want to choose His way, or choose another way. 

Unfortunately, many think because God is all-powerful it means He has blame in allowing the bad thing to happen. Or, others assume God doesn’t value you, or a loved one? Neither of these assumptions are accurate and safe to base a response upon. This is all covered in the FAQ: Why would a loving God allow Pain?

 

God can handle you being mad at Him, but the hurt or distance in your relationship with God, due to unfounded anger, only leads to further harmful results. Recognize, if the biblical God exists, then other biblical claims will be accurate, such as there being other sources responsible for causing pain and injustice in the world. How often have we placed the blame and angst not against the actual source of the suffering, but on the one who is fully on our side, God. 

 

God already demonstrated this at the crux of history. When something entirely unfair, wrong or painful happens to us, we can trust God is there to comfort us, during the pain, and can work things out for good, as Unlike any other belief system, the biblical God came to personally experience the unfair, wrong and painful, and had his arms spread at the cross to show us how expansive his love is for us, and then provided the greatest comfort for us by the verification of his ability to bring us beyond the pain and death of this world. 

Lee Strobel summarized this well: “God isn’t some distant, detached, and disinterested deity; He entered into our world and personally experienced our pain. Jesus is there in the lowest places of our lives. Are you broken? He was broken. Are you despised? He was despised … Your sufferings are his sufferings. If you accept his offer of redemption at the door, then his victory over it all is yours too. Jesus was even sent to suffer and die so that when this time on earth is over, evil and suffering could be eradicated without destroying us along with it.”  

 

Therefore, if you answer the primary question, “What kind of God are we talking about”, and you determine the biblical God exists, then even if the answer to “Why” doesn’t come right away, or at all, as is true with many things in life, you can still rest in the knowledge that came with unparalleled verification: God understands, cares as deeply as you, will always be there for you, and has a purpose to ultimately remove your pain, and all pain and evil. 

 

If you hold to the relationship God offers you, when you come to stand before your Savior, and finally see the full picture, questioning Him about why this or that happened will not even be on your mind, as you will have your answers and an eternity of good awaiting you. 

 

How can I recover? Even an emotionally overwhelmed person, at some point, needs to be encouraged to THINK.

 

Many have experiences so intense, they feel it will never go away. Nevertheless, there are endless accounts of people, who have moved into more peace, comfort and joy then they ever thought would be possible. How? There are several possibilities: maybe through psychological defense mechanisms bringing a false peace, maybe through counseling or an infinite supply of self-help guides, maybe time, maybe there is a God, who cares entirely, and can provide comfort and peace surpassing understanding, or some combination of those. 

Strobel, Lee. http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2012/july-online-only/doesgodallowtragedy.html?share=&paging=off

The fact remains: people have been moving on to wonderful lives of peace and joy they always hoped for, even after suffering the worst tragedies. Therefore, it is up to the person who experiences serious suffering to choose to be one of those who move on, or not. 

 

The heart (feelings, emotions) can bring some of the best experiences in life, but the head (rational thought, reasoning) needs to lead, in order to keep us safe, and in a position to best experience the heart.

 

Dr. Gary Habermas, after years of marriage, lost his wife to cancer in traumatic fashion. When he discusses his suffering, which is also given in well-researched articles, and presentations on the topic, some very useful understandings are provided. 

 

He noted the event(s) itself, which causes the pain, is the “activator” of the pain. When one is close to the activating event, they are not in the frame of mind to hear much as emotions overwhelm, which is why just listening is wise. 

 

Habermas also noted peer-reviewed studies indicating much of the pain we experience, actually the vast majority of the pain we go through, comes from our own responses to the activator event. Some people move on from the activator, and only experience the natural initial pain, and then a lingering, but lessening pain. 

 

On the other hand, others continually focus on the activator of the pain, renewing the pain, taking ownership of the pain, identifying with the pain, and experiencing much more suffering from the same activator event than the person who does not focus too much of their thought life around the past event. 

 

Usually, even a serious cause of suffering, occurs in a limited time frame in our life. Therefore, it is within our choice to either use this difficult chapter from our past to build a better self to better face the rest of the chapters, or miserably dwell in that one chapter in life. Psychological studies, and common sense clearly hold the former as the better and only beneficial option. 

 

Furthermore, even if at a funeral for a loved one, or someone you cared about, if the person cared for you, then they would also hope you chose the former, and would move on in your life. Think about it, if they cared for you, then the tragedy would only be compounded if you allowed your life to also be continually injured. 

 

There are some challenges, which do not go away. Habermas noted his mom is a shut-in, unable to leave the house due to serious, chronic pain. The choice of how to respond does not change. Either one can develop the strength of the character traits necessary to move forward, and experience the best possible life for themselves, which may even exceed the opportunities before the challenge hit, or they can miserably dwell in self-centered pity, and failing to respond, allow the challenge to dictate the consequences and life that follows. Easier said than done, definitely, but it doesn’t change the fact that one way to respond will lead to vastly better results for you.

 

Of course, some self-pity is normal, and easy to fall into now-and-then, but there is also a time where the initial hit of the challenge is long past, and strongly encouraging one you care about to move on, is the only caring thing to do.